||[Oct. 12th, 2006|12:06 am]
I Am Not Al Bundy
Our store is located at one of the largest outlet shopping centers in the world, ranked highly among the most popular places to shop in the world.
Our store is the largest in the district.
Our store has the highest sales volume in the district.
Our store has the most complete selection of all the shoes the company carries in stock at our location.
Our store also has a high volume of foreign customers, who easily make up half of our sales.
We offer home delivery of any shoe that is in stock at our warehouse direct to the customer's home provided that they live in the continental United States.
Our district manager is pissed that we are consistently last in the percentage of home deliveries (calculated per our total sales volume) sold.
- The people who would most like to take advantage of our home delivieries are FOREIGN.
- We generally have the shoes people want in stock in our store.
- We constantly check our database for shoes in the warehouse, and *gasp* WE CAN'T FIND ANY FOR DELIVERY!
- Stores that have higher percentages of home deliveries are generally smaller, have a more local customer base, with less inventory to browse.
- Our district manager needs to get laid.
- It would do good to include a percentage of home deliveries made by the store per the total in the district.
- Our district manager really needs to get laid.
In other news, the district manager decided that we were unnecessarily going over our "projected" payroll hours from our almighty "store plan" that was probably written by some pencil-pushing son-of-an-executive who has never even had to SHOP in a store much less WORK in one. So hours have been cut. And we're supposed to perform above our current level.
Makes sense to me. </like hell>